This book is kicking my butt and punching me in the gut. I haven’t been actively working on myself in months if I’m to be honest. Despite therapy, I still find myself in turmoil with worries, anxiety, and everything that I’m clearly not working on to dissipate. Trying to see a brighter side to everything has been hard, and sometimes I’m kicking and screaming while doing it! My last therapy session got me into digging into some deep rooted stuff about how I’m keeping myself in misery. Do I want to stay miserable forever because I’m afraid of change and others? Or do I want to be free and LIVE? I forget I have a choice and that I’m the one stunting my own growth and change because it can feel and seem scary! It’s very hard going from the mindset of “it’s how I grew up, it’s what I was taught, I wasn’t taught that, it’s just how it’s always been….”etc to actually forcing yourself to change it to better and positive ways of thinking and living your life. I’m super guilty of saying a lot of those things, and I’ve been catching myself thinking about it or about to say it and I have to stop myself and regroup to a different mindset. Here’s to choosing to be less miserable, whiny, and compliant in growth one step at a time. And if anyone in real life wants to call me out when they hear or see me going backwards, please do! If I get upset ignore me, it just means I need to check myself and do more internal work since ultimately, I am responsible for myself.
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